The best thing about putting drugs behind me are the friendships I will be able to pursue again. I had to let go of some really important friends because of the effects my life choices would have on their life. Having to let those friendships go killed me and is one reason I had decided to make this change. When you lack in the family department like I do, friends become your family. Having to lose those friendships was like losing my own family twice. I only pray these friends will understand why I withdrew from them and welcome me back with open arms. Cause I love them with all my heart.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Day 33: Halting the Hustle
Day 33: I know I will always be an addict, this will be a lifelong battle. But I'm beginning to feel the shock of the life change wearing off and I am beginning to slowly adjust to the new life that is ahead. Last week I took a huge step and removed myself completely as the middle man. I gave anyone that called me looking for drugs a number for someone else to call. Letting them know I didn't really wish to be a point of contact for that reason any longer. I never had anymore than personal here, but I was still playing middle man to make my little personal sack to stay high. It helped me to reduce my daily using to next to nothing after it was shared between my girlfriend and I. But by slowing reducing the daily amount it's now not the first thing I think about when I wake up and I am actually able to wake up and get my day going without it. Don't get me wrong, I am still tired beyond belief, but I don't feel like I'm dying. My phone doesn't ring at all now and I am totally broke so no money to buy, so my using will be very little if any from this point forward. Which is exactly what I want. I have come to grips with what will probably come of my relationship and will just continue to take it one day at a time, and will worry about crossing that bridge if it comes to that. I pray I'm wrong and that we are able to overcome this struggle, because of all the things we have encountered in the over 10 years we've been together, this will be the most difficult so far.
The best thing about putting drugs behind me are the friendships I will be able to pursue again. I had to let go of some really important friends because of the effects my life choices would have on their life. Having to let those friendships go killed me and is one reason I had decided to make this change. When you lack in the family department like I do, friends become your family. Having to lose those friendships was like losing my own family twice. I only pray these friends will understand why I withdrew from them and welcome me back with open arms. Cause I love them with all my heart.
The best thing about putting drugs behind me are the friendships I will be able to pursue again. I had to let go of some really important friends because of the effects my life choices would have on their life. Having to let those friendships go killed me and is one reason I had decided to make this change. When you lack in the family department like I do, friends become your family. Having to lose those friendships was like losing my own family twice. I only pray these friends will understand why I withdrew from them and welcome me back with open arms. Cause I love them with all my heart.
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