Day 43: Halting the Hustle

Day 43: Yes, it is true you can't die from withdrawals from quitting my drug. That doesn't mean by any means that quitting is easy or painless. When you quit your body aches beyond belief and keeping your eyes open takes every bit of strength you have, leaving no extra energy to do anything else. Then on top of the pain you have horrible mood swings, you're either crying or yelling at everyone or everything you come in contact with. The longer the drug has been used, the more severe your side effects will be. In short, it sucks! With this being said, I have been using for a good 11 years. So you can probably imagine my side effects. I know quitting isn't going to kill me. But how am I going to possibly get through the first couple weeks working full-time and having to be a mom. I want sobriety but it really seems like an impossible goal. How do I just stop doing something that I have been doing a third of my life? I really feel I have succeeded at making hustling a thing of my past. I've managed to close that chapter. But until I am able to come up with a game plan for becoming sober, while still keeping my career and being mommy, the best I'm going to be able to promise myself is just continue to slowly wean myself off. My job and sleeping help with this a lot, by being at work 6-8 hours and sleeping about 6-8 hours that only leaves a quarter of the day to even get high. You minus mommy time out of that and their isn't much time left. So I will get there, I will just keep my long-term goal a daily goal. It's the best I can offer right now.

 

"Giving up on your goal

Because of one setback

is like slashing your other

three tires because of one

flat."