Day 10: Caught up by the Hustle

Well it's 8 me 1 the devils. Sometimes we have to face our demons again to be reminded why we were fighting them in the first place. I let the fact I was broke and lonely get the best of me today. Where I defiantly see this as a step back, I won't let it keep me from continuing to move forward. Luckily, it was just as bad and stressful as it had been and I came to realize I wasn't really missing it at all. Don't get me wrong I miss the money and free drugs, but not everything that comes along with it. It's still been impossible for me to face a day completely sober and that became my main reason for selling it today. I've got to get my shit together, stop with all the excuses. I know I can do this. Fuck I've never let anything beat me before. Ahhh, I just want to fucking scream, why does this have to be so hard!!! Truth is I gave in way to easily to the temptation. I mean don't get me wrong I did think about it for a moment, but it was just a short moment. I texted a friend asking him if he was looking, he said yes. Then a couple of minutes later he texted me back saying, " wow, if that was a test, then I just failed miserably. I should not have said yes, cause I want you to succeed." I messaged him back saying, "it's all right, I had already failed."